So. You broke up with your partner? I am sincerely sorry, from the bottom of my heart: I know you are going through a hard time. I have had my heart broken truly and thoroughly myself. If you are like me, you tried to not internalise what happened, and maybe even lashed out to bystanders and… the deserving.
This is where I found things going curly wurly. (Relatively speaking – it was all curly wurly for a while.) I have said some nasty, nasty things to my ex. It was fabulous. Especially because, I am deeply, deeply ashamed to admit, I was carrying the torch for a while and let him knew it. It was catharsis; it was closure. But I know, I know, in all the dark crevices of my very soul, that this makes me a lesser person.
I really do try not to hurt other people, mostly because I am cowardly, but also because I really do believe in love and peace and all that jazz. I cannot repeat anything I said to my ex here, to protect his privacy as well as my anonymity, but I said some things that I never thought I would say to another human being, let alone someone I loved so deeply for so long.
We had the best of times, and the worst of times. He saw me at my best, as well as my utter worst, and loved me still. I could, and would, never, ever forget that. Our relationship dissolved for many reasons, and it was more or less a mutual decision. And I would be remiss if I did not say it was at least half my fault. But how much he hurt me as we were breaking up is a different issue altogether. Permit me to say that he behaved very badly. And so I retorted with hysterically
As advice goes, it is not much. Try to be good to yourself. Try and be a better person, even if your ex is not. Cling onto that moral high ground, like there is no tomorrow. Even if you fail, do not give up on love – love yourself most of all.
I literally danced to My Little Pony theme music with some of my best friends this past weekend. And I loved every moment of it, shamelessly, deliciously. It really helped, not just with this stuff, but with EVERYTHING. I highly recommend it.